30 days of yoga, Uncategorized
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Day 5: Finding my compass

Image taken by me, from Urban Yoga, at 6:25am. Hi moon!

Flexibility Flow with Liberty @ 6:30am – 7:30am @ Urban Yoga – Business Bay

This class flows with the intention of creating greater mobility in all the major joints and muscles groups in the body. You will move and sweat to bring more elasticity into your tissues. Expect a few longer holds within the class to patiently mould your muscles.

Journal entry

After what feels like 45 minutes of sleep spread out over 7 hours (mainly because I fear alarm clock sabotage again) I jump out of bed at 5:45, noting that I beat the sun but only by a few minutes, and groggily make it out the door in time.

6:30 am. I’d always wondered if I’d ever be a 6:30 am kind of person, but here I am, impostor syndrome strong, and even ten minutes early to class. Pouring out a cup of tea, I wonder if it’s possible to truly change.

Waking up with the sun is kind of amazing, and I know it’s kind of cliché but I’m okay with cliché today. Thinking back, I always do enjoy being up early in the morning, I can’t help but feel a bit smug, like I have a head start on the day, and vow to do this more often

Day 5 is a humbling experience. It’s Liberty again, and I’m glad it’s her. My Day 1 instructor, I already feel connected to her, and her broken wrist feels like a metaphor for something broken in me, and I look forward to healing together.

Out of the five other students that morning, I know two, and my impostor syndrome intensifies. Am I a person who has friends who are up this early, in addition to being up this early themselves?! And if so, have I been so wrong about who I am? I push the big questions away; it’s 6:30am after all, and far too early to contemplate enlightenment.

Finding my compass is the theme for the day, as I’m introduced to a new pose. I don’t hate it, but for the life of me just cannot do it. It’s impossible. I watch Liberty, attempting to mirror her steps but it’s futile. I do what I can and to to ignore what I must look like in my attempt. It also doesn’t help that I’m the “weakest” yogi in the room. I say “weakest” and I cringe, because I know yoga is individual, and everyone is on their own journey, and I am simply with fewer hours of practice under my belt, but still, it’s so hard not to compare myself to others. Almost impossible. I try to focus, talking to myself and saying all the things I’d say to a friend, but it’s a tough task, and in the end I’m not sure just how well I do.

It doesn’t help that dragon / lizard pose is back, and just like the long and arduous prayer Elizabeth Gilbert struggles with in her ashram days in India but knows is necessary for advancement. I decide to lean in to the dragon, and face it head on.

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